Family is love, loyalty, support and a cozy home to which you want to return. Family relationships are complex. They are dynamic, they are characterized by crises and difficulties. Some do not pass these tests, others pass them as constructively as possible for their family. There are no clear boundaries for defining crises, but after a while couples cease to understand each other.
When does the crisis of family relations occur?
Family life is divided into periods in which relationship crises arise. These years of life for a couple can become critical:
- crisis of the first year. Feelings are not so bright, to be outweighs the romantic moments. During this period, the shortcomings of the second half begin to be felt;
- crisis of three years. In the fourth year of family relationships, often, the couple has a child. The crisis during this period is a regularity, because there are more responsibilities, the usual life regime changes. Everyday issues become more acute, which adds misunderstanding in the relationship;
- 5 years of marriage. A woman needs to go to work after the decree, but maternal duties do not go anywhere. A woman gets tired and exhausted, which hits the relationship;
- crisis of 7 years. This is the most acute crisis of all. Life is getting better, the spouses are grinding against each other and they become bored together. There is no novelty in the relationship and the usual shortcomings begin to catch the eye more;
- crisis of 14 years. The spouses begin a midlife crisis, the children are also going through a transitional period. Often the spouses go «left» for fresh impressions;
- 19 years old. At this time, children leave the parental home and spouses often find the absence of connecting threads. They may not officially divorce, but this life under one family roof can no longer be called.
In addition to standard crises, there are situations provoked by sudden circumstances. It can be job loss, illness, moving. Then the relationship between the spouses escalates and conflicts may become more frequent.
Signs of crisis in family relations
Any quarrels can be constructive, because their task is to hear each other. In times of crisis, conflicts gain momentum and can develop into aggression. It is important to know about the signs that characterize the crisisfamily relations:
Constant quarrels and conflicts. Quarrels occur too often out of nowhere, taking an aggressive form. No one compromises to prove their point. The spouse begins to irritate in all matters.
Family is an important part of every person's life. First, the child's family, in which he grows up, then his own - with the birth of his own children. We advise you to read about what problems of family education there are and how to deal with them
No quarrels. A sign opposite to the first, but also indicates problems in the relationship. The complete absence of quarrels indicates the indifference of the spouses to each other. The norm is this behavior if both spouses have a calm disposition.
On lack of desire for intimate life. If the spouses are cool to have sex with each other, this is bad. Lack of desire can be mutual, or, on the one hand.
Partners no longer want to please each other.
Questions related to everyday life and the upbringing of children cause disputes, irritations and continuous disagreements.
Partners don't share their thoughts, joys, and failures with each other. They're not interested in learning more about each other.
Most of the issues that are important for the family cause active disputes. It turns out that the family values of the spouses are different, financial literacy too.
Emotional bond and support between spouses is absent.
This signs can manifest themselves during standard crises and situational crisis moments in the family. Therefore, you need to know about the way to overcome them in a constructive way.
How to overcome the crisis in relationships
Crisis – an important component of relationships. This time is designed to recognize your partner and yourself. It is important to get out of this state with restored mutual understanding and respect.
It is important to realize the problem. Many couples break up without recognizing that family disagreements in a relationship. They accept separation as the fate of fate, not a cause-and-effect relationship. Sometimes, people do not fit each other, but the lion's share of separations occurs due to misunderstandings. Therefore, awareness of the problem and the search for a solution is half the battle.
It is important not to blame only your soul mate for quarrels, because what happens in a relationship is a common responsibility. Most conflicts boil down to accusations that aggravate the problem. Relationships are the work of two people and there are always two people guilty of problems. Therefore, before quarreling, determine the purpose of the conversation and do without accusations.
Independing the significance of the conflict, leaving home is forbidden. If you really aim to preserve relationships in the family – it is better to find them out during the conflict. Also, always fall asleep in the same bed after an argument. Believe me, nothing is more distant than a separate sleep during a quarrel. Do not deprive intimacy as punishment.
It's important for you to learn to talk about your feelings based on your feelings, not a subjective opinion about your partner. Don't say «You made me wait, but «I was uncomfortable waiting for you, I felt abandoned». Talk about disturbing sensations in the first person, the partner will hear about your feelings.
Remember about yourself. Sometimes focusing on a partner harms the relationship. It is important to find harmony in yourself and do what you like. Think about your hobbies, when your eyes light up, it will be difficult for your partner to resist such a force. In addition, independent classes help to concentrate on your feelings, understand yourself.
Family therapy. Family therapy is aimed at finding solutions to the problems of spouses. In the presence of a psychologist, it is easier for partners to talk about their feelings and claims to the half. The psychologist will not let quarrels go in the wrong direction, will work with emotions. Now it is possible to visit a psychologist online – at home, psychologists of our site will help to survive crises in the family. It is worth understanding that crises do not always have a negative color, sometimes it's a way of moving the relationship to the next level.