Family is an important part of everyone's life. First, the child's family in which he grows, then his own - with the birth of his own children. Therefore, the question of family upbringing is important. Family is joy, unification and support, but the problems of family education have been and will be. Their solution lies on the shoulders of parents. It is important to remember that the family and the atmosphere in the family – the foundation for the development of any personality.
Yvant parents began to pay more attention to the development of their own children and take an interest in psychology. You can not solve a problem without knowing its root causes. Therefore, to solve educational problems in the family, you need to understand their causes and possible consequences.
Causes of problems of raising a child
The main goal of family education is to achieve spiritual harmony and close emotional connection of the child with parents. Some reasons prevent the achievement of the main goal. There are many of them, but the most popular ones remain in the first positions for many years.
The excessive severity and exactingness of parents. If parents do not pay attention to the needs of the child, and constantly demand only excellent success from him, the child forms a number of problems. He becomes withdrawn, anxious and perceives failures and victories too emotionally. Another consequence is that the child seeks to establish himself with aggression and anger. Lack of love generates its lack for life.
Aligning out one of the children. If the parents, raising more than one child, love someone more, the second child becomes embittered and neurotic, rebels against the parents. It is important to love not equally, but as required by the particular child.
Punishment for any offense. Physical punishment is taboo, many parents know this and resort to psychological. While praising their methods of education without physical intervention. Children do stupid things, this is normal. Punishment is the answer for their act, and most parents switch to personalities, insulting the child. «Again you broke the cup, do you have hands growing from the wrong place?», «I had no doubt that you would have a deuce, you are stupid." In this or other words, parents make the child feel ashamed, angry and helpless. Remember, when you yell at a child he does not stop loving you, he begins to hate himself.
Family life is divided into periods in which relationship crises arise. These years of life for a couple can become critical. We advise you to read about when there is a crisis in family relationships
Education of an only child. Often this is not bad, because the only child gets more love and attention. But hypertrophied care can take the form of hyper-care. Or, on the contrary, permissiveness will entail unformed norms of behavior, difficulties in communicating with peers.
Big the employment of parents. Such a child has more freedom and can dispose of it incorrectly. Often children get into bad company because of not knowing what to do with their time.
Hyperopa. Hyper-guardianship can be more dangerous than even busy parents. Constant fear and control of the child's actions accumulate anger and aggression in him. Do not disdain insults with assault – it is easier for a afraid child to impose their interests. Such parents do not want to listen to the desires of children, giving only orders and orders. Often even in adulthood they try to control and even force them to live together, manipulating guilt. In such children, it can even be detected byThere was no way out of aggression, and parents completely crush the personality with their «Love».
This is not all, but the most basic problems of family upbringing. Each case is individual, and families with a normal approach to upbringing, fortunately more. The consequences of inadequate upbringing can be both for parents and for children. Therefore, it is important to approach parenthood consciously and solve the problems that arise.
How to solve the problems of family education?
Any problem has a solution. If there are problems in family education, it can be seen - the child rebels, even leaves home, there is no contact with the parents. To establish adequate relations with children is the main task of parents in any family.
If there is a problem, you should talk frankly with the child. You need to do it at ease, but on an equal footing. Ask the child what bothers him and tell him your concerns. Take into account what the child said, even if you are outraged by something, do not become enraged.
Suppress the child for his actions, and the punishment itself should not carry psychological pressure. You can not use as punishment the lack of communication, ignoring for the child - worse than any punishment
Do not exaggerate the problems, constantly musolya them. Excessive anxiety and fears for the child – reason to contact a psychologist. Solve family problems with a psychologist – normal. A specialist will help you look at the situation from the outside and find ways to solve the problem. Feel free to contact a psychologist if the problem does not find a way out. Openness to changes – the first step to improving the situation. A psychologist works on the site, he can ask a disturbing question and make an appointment for a consultation about family upbringing.